curating friendship, nurturing social health
the story of friendship archive
Friendship Archive is a new, slowly developing project.
Its purpose is simply to invite people to reflect on how be a good friend—and then experiment with creative, courageous friendship practices.
This project is also a space to explore friendship with the divine.
I am asking people what friendship means to them, what real differences it makes, and how to practice it beautifully. I am also asking people to share resonant photographs, poetry, and other artistic expressions that embody presences and absences of friendship.
I will curate what people share with me in coffee shops, storefront windows, dinner parties, schools, libraries, faith-based organizations, and community events. In time, I will also write a book about what the world taught me about friendship.
This project began on the streets of Seattle. After conducting ethnographic research with people experiencing homelessness for nearly a decade, I learned something that changed me and sparked this project: the presence of a good friend can help someone feel at home in the world—and friendship is a learned art that’s integral to building a more loving future.
The Aspiring Friend Archivist
Paul Blankenship-Lai is a scholar, writer, and ethnographer working to understand how we might cocreate a more loving world. Raised in San Diego, he holds a PhD from the Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley and has served as a university teacher, research collaborator, and Quaker pastor. His first book, Soul Woundedness: Spirituality on the Streets, was published by Fordham University Press and received a Silver Award at the 2026 Nautilus Book Awards.
He delights in simple things—like walks with his beloved life partner beside quiet waters and listening to others talk about what’s beautiful.
